10 absolutely essential truths about relationships that you should never forget
You meet someone. You start to like them. You go on a few dates and before you know it, you start to fall in love with them, one day at a time. It’s all pretty great in the beginning. You talk all the time, you can’t keep your hands off each other and every day with them is filled with exciting new possibilities. One year passes and somehow, all the excitement and all the emotions you felt at the start have started to fade away and you just can’t seem to understand why.
The realities of life have started to settle in and you realize that you were never even prepared for them. So, before you enter into a relationship, before you make this one person the center of the entire universe and before you allow your heart to rule all of your decisions, make sure that you always keep in mind these essential truths:
Everything in life happens for a reason
Every single day, many new and diverse people enter our lives. And trust me, none of them are here by accident. Each and every person we meet has a unique purpose in our life. Some are here to teach us a valuable life lesson, some are here to help us discover a talent in us that we never knew, and some are here to make our lives better by just existing in it.
So, view all your relationships as a chance to grow, a chance to be wiser than you were yesterday and a chance to discover what you truly want.
You get as much as you give in a relationship
Some people tend to expect so much in a relationship that they forget the fact that their partner probably has a few expectations too. If you’re always whining, crying and blaming your partner for all the things they never gave you, then don’t always expect them to react with apologies and confessions of how much they love you. They’re human. They need just as much love and attention as you do.
So, the next time you’re about to tell your partner that they don’t understand you, try to reflect on how many times you have ever tried to understand them.
Don’t force someone to keep you in their life
Sometimes, the truth is staring you in the face but you just can’t accept it. Your relationship has been dead for a long time. Your partner never reciprocates the love and things you say to them. It’s like they’re just looking for a reason to leave but you still hold on. You hold on to them as tightly as you can. You hope and pray that they’ll start feeling those emotions again. You ignore all the warning signs. But for how long?
If someone doesn’t want to be with you, nothing you say or do will ever change their mind. Stop asking them to stay. Stop making it harder for both of you. And stop putting yourself through this torture.
People change and you can’t blame them for it
People’s emotions, thoughts and personalities keep changing with time. It’s natural and it happens to everyone. And sometimes, these changes are so drastic that you stop relating to the people around you, including your partner. Your interests don’t match anymore. You don’t find the same things funny. And you still love them for all the memories and love you shared once but you know in your heart that this relationship just doesn’t feel right anymore.
In a situation like this, you can’t blame anyone and you have to understand what’s better for both of you- to just go your separate ways.
Relationships require a lot of effort
No relationship is effortlessly perfect. You need to compromise, sometimes. You need to learn to put someone else’s needs above yours. You need to put in a lot of time. And you need to give in everything you have to make it as perfect as you always imagined.
You need to learn how to forgive
Some people equate ‘forgiveness’ with being ‘weak’. That’s not true. Everyone makes mistakes and everyone deserves a second chance. If you’re going to break up the minute your partner does something wrong, then there’s no point in starting that relationship in the first place.
Forgiving your partner means you trust them enough not to do it again. It means that you hold the relationship higher than whatever mistake they made. And it means you’re strong enough to let go of your anger and move on.
Don’t waste your time arguing over pointless things
In the beginning, we tend to be much more accepting of what our partner says or does. But after some time, when the initial excitement of the relationship is over, you might reach a point where every single thing you say to each other gets misunderstood. The things you found cute in the start are annoying you now and you pick on the slightest chance to start an argument with each other.
Do you realize how much happier you’d both be if you just let the small things go and stay as accepting as you were in the start? Stop wasting your time in pointless arguments. Stop saying things you probably don’t even mean. And stop releasing your anger and frustration on the one person who can end all of it with just a simple hug.
You shouldn’t expect another person to change into exactly what you want.
Love your partner for what they are and not for what you can change them into. Every person is unique and comes with their own set of flaws and imperfections. If you feel like you can never accept them for the way they are, then that’s your problem and not theirs.
Your life will be better off if some people just leave
If you feel like some people just drain all the positivity from you, if all they’ve ever given you is constant betrayal and insults and if you hardly ever feel happy around them, then stop believing that they’ll change. Stop giving them another chance over and over again. Stop thinking that your life depend on their existence and just remove them from your life.
Appreciate the people who never left your side
Even if it’s been a year or more with your partner, tell them every day how much you love them. Tell them how happy they make you. Tell them all the things about them that you absolutely adore. The people who are here for us, the people who never left our side, these people are the ones who deserve all our attention. They deserve to know how much we value their existence.
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